We finally hit Day 21.
In all honesty, this was a lot more difficult of a Habit to complete than the last one. When considered all by itself, it wasn’t too bad, it’s just always going to sting a little when you make a decision to deny yourself a creature comfort. Yes, Day 21 is much easier to navigate than the first few days, and it still isn’t the Habit in my life that I wish it was, but as we continue past today, I’m confident that the day will come when it is no longer a struggle and just a part of life.
I have long since given up my dreams of a vast and majestic altering of my complexion and body. In fact, today’s scale showed the exact same read-out as Day 1, and by the looks of the image in the mirror, my skin is still not blemish free. (Though if you’d seen the aftermath of that camping trip in person, you’d realize like I do that getting back to “Ground Zero” was actually an accomplishment. And people wonder why I prefer to stay home, my body just can’t handle the adventures!)
As an added measure of insult, every single article of clothing is sitting quite uncomfortable on my frame these days. Just a few days ago my wedding ring became comically stuck on my bloated finger, a ring that has historically been too big and has needed resizing three different times. I got it off, finally, but I haven’t been brave enough to put it back on since that day. I’m too afraid that it wasn’t just a fluke on that one day, and that I really have allowed my body to expand that much.
Is this the fault of the water? Am I retaining water weight? Nah. I’m to blame here. In my selfish mind, I convinced myself that just adding water to my day would be of some sort of great benefit. I didn’t actually decrease my intake of other drinks, I simply drank them after my cup of water – which can lead to an abundance of stomach sloshing if you’re not careful.
Even better than that, I would reward myself for drinking water. It went something like, “I had a grand amount of water at dinner. I shall celebrate with a glass of wine and an entire bowl of buttery popcorn mere moments before going to bed where, surely, my complete inactivity will burn the entirety of the calories that I have just ingested,” or something like that. (I totally just wrote that while envisioning myself in a top hat and monocle with a British accent… I’m a female from Texas with perfect vision… I read too many books…)
So has this Habit been a waste of time and effort? My heart wants to scream, “Yes! Let me go back to the way it was before,” but my head is telling me, “No.” These past three weeks haven’t been perfect, but I know that any step toward giving up vices and making better choices is a step in the right direction. And I know that real Habits of Healing are successful in small steps implemented with purposeful decision. It’s a process.
While it is my plan to begin a Mental Habit tomorrow, I know that I will follow this Physical Habit up with another very soon. (One that will most likely involve movement.) There is definitely more that I want to accomplish with myself. I just have to be in the right frame of mind to make that purposeful decision. When it’s time, I will jump in fully committed to whatever Habit the Lord has placed on my heart.
Until then, I’ll keep my glass of water handy and try to cut back on those late night snacks.
-Blessings!
Habits of Healing 